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It is a good idea to get married young

Why does everyone suddenly get married so young?

Don't you have the feeling that everyone is proudly announcing on Instagram: We're engaged. In most cases underneath it says something like "I can't wait to spend my life with you forever". While you're sitting on the couch and can't even decide in five minutes what to eat for lunch. The idea of ​​choosing someone for the rest of your life seems all the more absurd. As recently did Justin Bieber and Hailey Baldwin, Ariana Grande and Pete Davidson, and Miley Cyrus and Liam Hemsworth.

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So the question automatically arises: Why do so many people want to say the three words "Yes, I do" these days? Is it the white dress, going to the altar with your father or the umpteenth Elle Goulding cover band at your wedding? Doesn't all of this fill you with a certain degree of horror? Doesn't that all seem a bit ridiculous given the prospect that we can live up to 109 years old? Who wants to bond with one person for the rest of their lives? At a time when the mainstream media is celebrating polyamorous relationships and showing us that we can have it all. Do you really want to end up like one of the couple who has nothing to say to each other while eating in the restaurant? Do you want to live the kind of life where the last message for your partner is a reminder not to forget the garlic mayo?

I always thought that we millennials are more focused on what we want. That we want to get our lives right. That we live forever in run-down apartments in which we don't even dare to drill a hole in the wall because otherwise we won't get our deposit back. At a time when we are moving from one badly paid internship or freelance job to the next and never really know whether we will have enough money in the next month to pay the rent.

Perhaps it is precisely because of our chronic instability, which constantly accompanies us in other areas of life, that we want to have at least something stable in our private lives like marriage. My best friend Vicky is 22 and called me a few days ago at 3 a.m. and told me hysterically from a hot tub in Iceland that her boyfriend had just asked her if she wanted to marry him. This need for security and structure in our extremely fast-paced present is not an isolated case. She explains it this way: "It's nice to come home from work and the same person is waiting for you to cry out to. People of our generation are either stuck in unpaid internships or jobs they hate." When you feel like a failure yourself at times, it's nice to have someone to tell you that you aren't. "

When young couples get married, this is often interpreted as irresponsible behavior that can only result in drama. There is also something rebellious about getting married in the 20s: "We got married young, just with a few close friends. I think my parents expected a little more, but for me it was the most romantic thing in the world," Meghan, 24, tells me Years young and another good friend of mine who got married last year. If you get married young, marriage is still something that makes others feel insecure because it is so unexpected. As you get older and get married, most of you, at least your parents, expect it. "It took my mother a while to understand how much we mean to each other," Meghan continues.

For people from the LGBTQ community, marriage can also be an important symbol to share their queer love with the world. "I met Kat four years ago at a seminar. At first we thought we were best friends," my good friend Sukey tells me about her engagement to her 24-year-old friend. "As it happens, we fell in love and were together a few weeks later," she continues. "For me, as part of the LGBTG community, it is important that we get married properly and not just enter into a registered civil partnership. I get married because I want my love and our relationship to be legally recognized. And I also want a big party give."

The fact that not everyone is enthusiastic when young people step in front of the altar is what makes it so romantic. There's no less love in the game just because the ring came from the gum machine and not from Cartier. Unless large joint material possessions such as a house are involved in a divorce, separation is not quite as dramatic either. All you have to do is agree who will get the wok and who will get the toaster.

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