How to start loving yourself
Self-love: How to learn to love yourself (+10 everyday tips)
In this article, I'll show you practical tips and exercises to develop super strong self-love ...
But first of all, a small problem in our society:
Self-love is often misunderstood as blind egoism.
It is exactly the opposite! (And you can find out why selfishness is good in this article: Selfishness: Why You Should Be More Selfish)
Remember one thing:
If you don't love yourself, you will never be able to love anyone else!
Or to put it the other way round:
If you totally love yourself, totally like yourself, then you yourself are full of life energy and love and of course you want to share this with your fellow human beings.
But to get to that point, you have to start loving yourself first. And how exactly that works, I'll show you in this article:
Bonus:Download my free 10-point guide for more self-love here two power methods for more inner strength and self-confidence immediately!
Table of Contents
108 tips for a strong self-confidence
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The self-love test: take a look in the mirror
This test is very simple and you can take it immediately and see how your current self-love is doing ...
Stand in front of a mirror and just look at yourself for a few moments.
Then say the following sentence to yourself (out loud):
"(Your first name), I love you!"
So if your name is Isabell then tell yourself: "Isabell, I love you!"
And then see how it affects you ...
Is there any inner resistance in you?
Is it difficult for you to pronounce this phrase? Or does it go very easily over your lips and you FEEL really good about it?
- If you have healthy self-love, this phrase will be easy for you to say.
- If your self-love is not quite so optimal, then you will feel inner resistance with this sentence or you may not be able to pronounce it at all.
If that's the case with you - don't worry. That's exactly why I wrote this article for you:
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The 3 golden rules of self-love
Let's start with the 3 most important rules for healthy self-love.
If you internalize and implement these 3 rules, you will soon feel the extremely positive effect self-love has on you and your life.
The benefits of healthy self-love:
And these are just a few of the benefits of healthy self-love ...
So here are the 3 golden rules:
Rule # 1: Make yourself the number 1 priority in your life
No matter what others say or what others expect of you: Make yourself the number 1 priority in your life.
Always remember: you cannot give what you do not have!
Don't let other people convince you that this is selfish. That's not it. You can only be there for others when you feel good about yourself.
Rule # 2: Help because YOU want it and not because others ask you to
Help others only when you are doing well and when you WANT to help and not because it is expected of you or you are only drawing your self-worth from your helper syndrome.
Next time, think about it carefully in everyday life: "Do I have enough energy myself to help this person?".
If the answer is no, say no too. First focus on yourself again. Develop enough energy and then help because YOU want to help.
Rule # 3: Build yourself up inside - every day! (with strong sentences)
Most of the time we talk badly to ourselves inside ...
"Man, I'm stupid. I'm useless for anything. Whoa, how fat I've become. " and so on. With such inner sentences you can of course never strengthen your self-love!
Instead, think about why you are great the way you are. Tell yourself "I love myself because ...".
Sounds cheesy, but it works: say these sentences out loud in front of the mirror in the morning and in the evening!
The more often you implement these 3 golden rules in everyday life, the faster your self-love will build up.
However, I also know that many people are absolutely aware of these rules, but they are fail due to practical implementation. That's why I have a few more exercises for you here that you can IMMEDIATELY incorporate into your everyday life:
3 simple exercises to strengthen your self-love
The following exercises will help you a lot in building positive self-love.
Of course, it is important that you REALLY do the exercises and ideally integrate them into your everyday life.
It's best to do the first self-love exercise right after you get up in the morning (or even in bed - I'll show you how):
Wake up with self-love
It's one of my all-time favorite exercises. And it works like this:
I'm looking forward to the next day. And I'm happy that I slept well and my body is fine. I love the feeling I have right now and I am grateful that I am fine.
Something like that. You can of course modify this sentence. Exactly how it suits you and how you feel good about it.
The effect: In the morning you feel full of energy and happiness in life as soon as you get up. Make sure to try it out first thing in the morning!
The mini wellness pampering moment
It is also a wonderful-wonderful-WONDERFUL self-love exercise to devote yourself to your own body again and to pamper it.
I cream my body with a great cream very consciously and very relaxed from top to bottom. This gives my skin important moisture (especially important in winter) and I consciously take care of my physical condition.
Important: Don't rush through this exercise, really take your time. Cream yourself nice and say THANK YOU again! Thank your body for working so well and for serving you so well!
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Banish the inner critic
The inner critic is arguably the worst enemy when it comes to healthy self-love. So try to catch yourself doing it when your inner critic wants to put you down. And then you switch IMMEDIATELY to the "live positive program":
STOP, I'm the program director here and I tell you where to go. And now, now I switch back to the life positive program and enjoy this moment and all that is GOOD in my life.
This exercise needs some training because such an inner critic can be quite persistent at times.
But be sure: as soon as you have integrated this exercise into everyday life and practice it again and again, the time comes when this inner switching takes place automatically. You then no longer have to consciously bring it about. It happens all by itself, precisely because you have practiced it so often.
Here is another article that goes into much more detail on how to deal with the inner critic: The inner critic: With this simple exercise you can get a grip on him
Self-love: THE key to a happy life
All right, those were the three biggest and most important exercises you can do for instant self-love.
In addition, I would now like to give you a few more tips on the way, with which you can learn to love yourself and practice it in everyday life ...
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10 quick tips for instantly more self-love in everyday life
- Take time for yourself
- Treat yourself
- What are you grateful for
- Be your best friend
- Forgive yourself
- Don't take life so strictly
- Smile more often
- Be proud of yourself
- Tell your fellow human beings
When you meet other people, tell yourself internally "I love you. I am grateful for you ". Let go of all prejudices and old impressions about this person. Look at the person and smile. By practicing the expression of these thoughts, you strengthen your own love for yourself at the same time. Love the world and with it yourself.
- Read this poem by Charlie Chaplin:
He wrote it for his 70th birthday and there is no better way to sum up SELF-LOVE. Feel free to print it out and hang it up somewhere where you can see it every day. You can find the PDF for download if you follow the link: When I began to love myself
When was the last time you really had time for yourself? Take only 30 minutes today where you ONLY take care of yourself and do not constantly sacrifice yourself for others.
When was the last time you indulged in something? It's probably been a while ... So: Consciously treat yourself to something today. A sauna or a massage or just a walk in the forest. You decide - treat yourself to something!
One of the strongest exercises there is. Think about what you are grateful for: In yourself, in your day and in the whole world. It is best to use a diary and write it down (this exercise is also great in the evening before you go to bed - think about what you particularly liked during the day and what you are grateful for)
Be your best friend to yourself and treat yourself that way. Think about how you treat YOUR best friend and treat yourself today, in word and deed, as if you were treating yourself to your best friend.
No matter what, no matter what happened. Forgive yourself. What has passed has passed. Thump. Out. Mickey Mouse. Do not mourn the story afterwards but let go and you will immediately feel a lot better.
And above all: don't be too strict about yourself. If things don't work the first time, be patient with yourself. No world champion has just come into the world like that. Take the time it takes to do things. And treat yourself well instead of putting yourself down (which also doesn't help you much)
In the morning in front of the mirror. On the way to work. In contact with your fellow human beings. Just smile more often. And do it CONSCIOUSLY and you will see that your inner state and your love for yourself will immediately turn positive. There is nothing more healing than smiling every now and then throughout the day.
If you did something well or achieved something, be proud of yourself. Give yourself the time and space to congratulate yourself on your accomplishments and be proud of them. People with a strong self-love are proud of what they have achieved (and self-love has nothing to do with selfishness - I will explain you in more detail below)
These were my best exercises and tips with which you can strengthen your self-love and take it to a new level.
Unfortunately, many people confuse self-love with egoism, which is why I will explain to you now why self-love has absolutely NOTHING to do with egoism:
Why self-love has nothing to do with selfishness
Self-love and selfishness
The term self-love is often mistakenly equated with selfishness. People who take care of themselves are branded as narcissists.
This self-love has nothing to do with blind egoism. Exactly the opposite is the case. In the end, only self-love can make the bud of charity bloom:
Self-love is the first step
away from egoism and towards altruism
Everywhere you are being told to be selfless. Self-love is used synonymously for egoism and egoists are "ugh".
Your mother, your school and your religion - they all want you to act selflessly, to be helpful, to give yourself to others.
So far no problem.
However, the most important things are often forgotten in this equation: You yourself, YOUR person.
- How do you ever want to be there for others when you are not doing well yourself?
- How do you want to share love when you don't have one yourself?
- How are you going to give someone energy if you don't have any yourself?
That will not do.
First you have to be fine so that you can do good to others. If you don't love yourself, you will never be able to love anyone else either.
Self-love is the root of charity
So get rid of the belief that self-love is a bad thing. That's not true. The love for yourself is the best and most important thing of all.
Bonus: Download my free 10-point guide for more self-love here two power methods for more inner strength and self-confidence:
Self-love and altruism
Maybe you know such days:
You are fine, very fine, and now you want to share it with your fellow human beings. You don't ask for anything in return. You have no thought that the other person owes you anything. You just give. Because you enjoy it. Because it fulfills you. Because it enriches the world.
These days are the most beautiful ever. And this state is at the same time what man secretly strives for. The state of total self-love in which the self dissolves in the end. The state in which there is no longer an I and you, but only a we.
This state of affairs is the ne plus ultra. That is true altruism!
Self-love: your only responsibility
Forget those who expect you to take care of others first.
First start loving yourself. Discover your own love and only THEN take care of others. But not because others expect it from you, but because YOU want it!
Respect yourself, take responsibility for your life, and make yourself the number 1 priority. Because don't forget: you can't give what you don't have.
Therefore, self-love is your first and only task.
Summary (plus bonus video)
Self-love is important. Pig important. The most important thing of all.
Self-love has nothing to do with selfishness. It's just the opposite. When you truly love, the self disappears and you become a generous giver. To the giver without ulterior motives.
If you don't love yourself, then you can't love anyone else in this world either.
Therefore love yourself. Develop immense self-love. Make yourself the number 1 priority in your life and help because YOU want it and not because you are asked to.
And at the end you will find out: the more you love yourself, the more others will love you too!
Here is another video that I made specifically on this topic. I also address the question of what to do best when others accuse you of being an egoist:
PS: My instructions on how I managed to break away from others and to fully stand up for myself and my needs, here in my book. Read, apply, implement and feel good 🙂
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