Is there a love for everyone

Couple psychology Love at first sight: that's why it really exists!

Love at first sight comes completely unexpected

Perhaps you have already experienced it yourself: You look someone in the eye and have the feeling that lightning is striking. Out of the blue you're in love, with all the accompanying symptoms: damp hands, increased heartbeat, nervousness, butterflies in your stomach. It's like fate has set its course and you have no choice but to change direction. It has meanwhile been scientifically proven that no one is immune from this.

Researchers are on the trail of the secret of love at first sight and know that it is relatively common. About half of all relationships are based on it, but most of them break up again after a short time.

How love arises

In love psychology and science we now know the processes very well how love - or what we think it is - comes about. A maximum of three seconds is sufficient to make an initial decision on an unconscious level. The surprising thing is that neither money nor status play a role. Profession, religion, smoker or non-smoker are also insignificant factors.

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The chance of falling in love at first sight depends solely on the external attractiveness of the other person. First of all, it is the face that is perceived, followed by the voice. You might already guess: men who are tall tend to be rated as more attractive too; Obviously, overweight women have a harder time. If men radiate sexual experience, this also helps their attraction on the jumps. This is not the case with women. These are the factors that are crucial for love to arise at all. However, they alone do not say anything about the duration of the relationship.

Love cocktail made from hormones and messenger substances

Perhaps you have already experienced the strong physical and emotional side effects of falling in love firsthand. With love at first sight, the emotional chaos is particularly intense because it comes as a surprise and there is no time to adjust to it. From the moment you fall in love, your body and your psyche are under constant attack from hormones and messenger substances - all of the body's own drugs. No wonder your mind says goodbye to vacation for a period of time.

The saying “love is blind” is therefore absolutely true for the phase of being in love. Biochemists and neurobiologists have found that when you are in love, your body releases a lot of serotonin, a good messenger substance, as well as the reward hormone dopamine. This increases testosterone production, which leads to the lovers' “in heat” behavior. The fact is: Instead of deep affection, the feeling is more of an illusion.

And that state doesn't last forever. After an average of six months, the "frenzy" is over and the cuddle hormone oxytocin gains the upper hand. Then the time of closeness and attachment begins - and real love can grow. Provided that love at first sight lasted.

Happy in love with

Fancy beautiful, romantic, heartbreaking books about love? We have put together a selection of the best love books for you: