Why are there gay people 3

What is homosexuality? Answers on lesbians and gays

Table of Contents

  1. What is homosexuality?
  2. How many people are lesbian or gay?
  3. How do lesbians and gays live?
  4. What is the cause of homosexuality?
  5. Are Lesbians and Gays Sick?
  6. Can homosexuality be "cured"?
  7. Trans * people are crazy.
  8. Do you choose to be lesbian or gay?
  9. Can children and young people be seduced into homosexuality?
  10. Did parents of lesbians and gay men get it wrong?
  11. Homosexuality confuses children.
  12. How do you know that you are gay / lesbian?
  13. What does coming out mean?
  14. Homosexuality is unnatural!
  15. Is homosexuality a sin and against religion?
  16. Homosexuality is something from the west. Is not available here.
  17. Homosexuality is pointless because lesbians and gays cannot have children.
  18. A child needs a father and a mother!
  19. Who takes on the male and who the female part in a same-sex relationship?
  20. Lesbians are not real women and gays are not real men!
  21. How do lesbians / gays have sex?
  22. Lesbians haven't found the right man yet and gays haven't found the right woman yet?
  23. You can't just invent genders.
  24. Homosexuality did not exist in the past!
  25. Are there more and more lesbians and gays?
  26. Hate lesbian men !?
  27. Gays are a danger to children !?
  28. Do I have to like lesbians and gays now?

1. What is homosexuality?

Homosexuality is love and sexuality that is lived between same-sex people. The (self) designation “lesbian” is widespread for same-sex loving and desiring women or “gay” for men. Here you can find our glossary "What does LGBTI mean" for other terms relating to sexual and gender diversity.

2. How many people are lesbian or gay?

There is no central reporting point for sexuality. Nobody has to say anywhere who they love. On the other hand, there are of course also lesbians and gays who cannot and / or do not want to live openly. It is also impossible to name an exact number of homosexual and bisexual people. This explains the different results of the existing investigations.

In a representative survey conducted by the Bielefeld opinion research institute Emnid in 2001, 4.1% of the men and 3.1% of the women interviewed stated that they were homosexual or bisexual. With 9.4 of the men surveyed and as much as 19.5 percent of the women surveyed, however, significantly more people felt erotically attracted to the same sex.

A Europe-wide survey by the Berlin polling institute Dalia Research in October 2016 came to the result that 7.4% of those questioned identify themselves as LGBT, 10.9% of those questioned described themselves as not exclusively heterosexual, and 6.8% said they were both heterosexual as well as having homosexual tendencies.

Even if the numbers differ. One thing is certain: it is very likely that everyone has lesbian, gay and / or bisexual acquaintances, work colleagues, neighbors, friends or family members. However, it could be that not everyone knows this.

3. How do lesbians and gays live?

Gays and lesbians buy bread rolls, bike, go to work, school or university, read the newspaper, occasionally have back pain, visit the swimming pool, moan about their tax returns, browse for special offers and fly to Mallorca. Only her love and sexuality distinguish her from most others. Gays prefer men, lesbians are more interested in women. That is why they all too often experience negative reactions and experience discrimination or homophobic violence.

However, lesbians and gays are more than just homosexuals. It is very unlikely that the many lesbians and gays in Germany are and live the same. They are not a homogeneous group. It also makes a difference, for example, whether you live a lesbian or gay life, in the big city or in the country, are old or young, are white or have a different skin color, have German citizenship or are fighting for asylum and residence here, whether you are is poor or not, has children or not, how religious you are, how and when you grew up and what kind of environment you live in. All of this has an impact on the experiences of lesbians and gays and determines their everyday life.

see also: Experiences of lesbian and bisexual women in Germany and experiences of gay and bisexual men in Germany.

4. What is the cause of homosexuality?

Most gays and lesbians are very skeptical about research into the cause. Because history has shown: mostly it was about healing or eradicating homosexuality.

Again and again it was said that an explanation for the cause of homosexuality had been found, e.g. B. biological peculiarities or educational influences. For a long time homosexuality was seen as a disease or it was claimed that young people could be seduced into homosexuality. All of these explanations have been found to be incorrect. It is absurd to try to trace complex behavioral patterns such as the human ability to love or sexual identity monocausally to genetic-biological causes. It appears that sexual orientation is the result of a complex mix of biological, psychological, and social factors.

Most scientists today only agree on one thing: sexual orientation is established very early on, long before puberty. Whether we are homosexual, bisexual or heterosexual is beyond our ability to influence and our will. It cannot be prevented or changed.

But why is there a desperate search for a reason for homosexuality and never the question of why someone is straight? It would also be more exciting and more important to research why people reject or exclude and discriminate against lesbians and gays. What is their problem and why are they bothered by the love and sexuality of others?

5. Are lesbians and gays sick?

Lesbians and gays get sick too. They have a runny nose, break their leg, or get cancer. But their homosexuality is not a disease, even if many doctors and psychologists have firmly believed it since the 19th century.

They have subjected gays and lesbians to inhuman “therapies” in order to “reverse the polarity” of their sexual identity. All to no avail. Homosexuality is terminally healthy. Just like any other form of mutual affection. Medicine has seen its mistake. In 1993 the World Health Organization (WHO), a division of the United Nations, removed homosexuality from the "International List of Diseases".

And if homosexuality were really sick, then lesbians and gays could take sick leave all their lives and would not have to work.

6. Can homosexuality be "cured"?

No. We write “healing” in quotation marks because homosexuality is not a disease. Therefore one does not have to “heal” or “reverse the polarity”. However, many attempts have been made to do so since the 19th century. Exercise was recommended to them, medication, hormones and drugs were given to them, they were forced to have sex with the opposite sex or marriage, they had to undergo psychoanalytic therapies and electric shocks - all these excruciating methods and inhuman efforts are hidden behind so-called "conversion therapies or treatments" who brought nothing but suffering. The sexual orientation could not be changed.

Carrying out these so-called conversion therapies on minors has been prohibited in Germany since 2020.

7. Trans * people are crazy.

Crazy. Perverse. Abnormal. The insults that trans * people still have to endure today are astonishing. Another basis for the hatred is the unbelievable fact that, according to a definition of the World Health Organization (WHO), transgender is considered a gender identity and thus a personality disorder. Fatal for transgender people.

LGBTI representatives have long been fighting to abolish the unfortunate WHO definition - with slow success: Denmark no longer defined transgender status as a mental illness since the beginning of 2017. Actually a matter of course: Because what makes trans * people really sick are discrimination, marginalization and violence that they experience every day in Germany and around the world. So what's crazy about wanting to cross the street without fear?

Transgender has nothing to do with sexual orientation, as some people still believe. Rather, trans * people partially, or not always, agree to the gender assigned at their birth. For many, this means that they do not fit into the prevailing man-woman image. Instead of questioning these notions of gender, however, trans * people are discriminated against and marginalized. Trans * people need strength if they decide to live in their identity gender and, for example, go the legal and / or medical route. At the same time, they are often the target of particularly blatant hostility - depression or even suicide can be the result. In addition to this conscious violence, trans * people also experience situations on a daily basis in which their gender identity is not recognized, in which they have to explain and justify themselves.

Questions like “And what was your name when you were born?” Or expressions in the sense of “Was a man / woman in the past” may not be mean. But people with a trans * past would never speak of a transformation or transformation themselves. They only make visible what they have been feeling for a long time.

8. Do you choose to be lesbian or gay?

Lesbians and gays continue to experience prejudice and negative reactions, including violence. Why should you choose something that makes your everyday life difficult? Can heterosexuals decide who they fall in love with or who they find sexy? If that were the case, then there would only be happy couples, no more heartache, no jealousy and no divorces. Why do lesbians and gays worldwide fight against prison sentences, violence and persecution for recognition and acceptance when they could allegedly instead simply stop being lesbian, gay or trans *? Makes little sense, does it?

Every few years a new fashion theory pops up in science claiming to have deciphered the cause of homosexuality. Everything possible has already been blamed for the origin of homosexuality. Most scientists only agree on one thing: sexual orientation is established very early on, long before puberty. Whether we are gay or straight is beyond our control and our will. The sexual orientation cannot be influenced. Just as little as the fact with which gender identity one feels comfortable. But what can be changed is how society deals with it.

In principle, however, acceptance and non-discrimination should not be made dependent on whether one has chosen something or not. It is also about human rights. All people have the right to free development of their personality, self-determination and protection of their dignity, completely independent of the question of whether the (sexual) identity was chosen personally and freely or genetically shaped.

Everyone should be able to freely choose how their own life should be led - and that includes, of course, the decision about who you want to have sex with and with whom you don't, with whom you want to live and with whom you don't, with whom you have sex Want to have a relationship and with whom not.

9. Can children and young people be seduced into homosexuality?

Children and young people cannot be “seduced” into homosexuality, because homosexuality is not contagious. They also do not “become” it when they deal with this topic or have lesbian or gay family members, friends or classmates.

Why should young people suddenly become immune to the everyday presence of heterosexual models in the family, among friends and in the media? If homosexuality was really that attractive, why do over 90% of the population live heterosexually? Sexology has banished seduction theory to the area of ​​old wives' tales. No sexual identity is formed in such a simple way.

10. Did parents of lesbians and gays do something wrong?

The sexual orientation is determined very early on. It is beyond human influence and our will whether we are homosexual, bisexual or heterosexual. Therefore, parents cannot prevent their children from being lesbian or gay. It's not upbringing. You shouldn't blame yourself for “doing something wrong”.

The question also suggests that being a lesbian or gay is bad. Would parents also wonder if they did something wrong when their child is happy? Because parents definitely have an influence on that. You can accept and encourage your child and thus contribute to whether they live and love self-confidently and openly as a lesbian or gay. Parents also have an influence on whether their children treat lesbians and gays with respect in everyday life and accept same-sex lifestyles.

Parents can find it very difficult to accept their child's homosexuality. However, you should ask yourself whether your child will be such a different person after they come out than they were before. Do you suddenly stop loving your child? Is it worth it not to have any more contact with your child because of this? What's so bad about it? Shouldn't parents want to see their children satisfied and happy?

11. Homosexuality confuses children.

In the series of allegations hostile to lesbians and gays, statements about children have a very special place. Again and again, lesbians and gays are demonized as a danger to children and young people. For example, it is popular to say that confronting gays or lesbians too early would confuse children or even make them homosexual. But how can children get confused when they are told about people who love each other? Unless you have learned anti-homosexual stereotypes, you will be fairly calm.

A catchphrase that regularly makes the rounds in this context is "early sexualization": This accusation is made primarily by right-wing populists and Christian fundamentalist actors who fight against the alleged "gender madness" and an allegedly ideologically motivated one Re-education of children have become a priority.

In this way, the attempt to adapt the curricula and educational plans to today's social reality is defamed. Because this is not about sexualization, but about educating children about the diversity of partnership relationships and promoting respect and acceptance for different sexual orientations and gender identities. For many children, same-sex couples are already part of their own reality.

12. How do you know that you are gay / lesbian?

Most of the time it starts with falling in love with someone. Sometimes you just notice that you find your own gender sexually more attractive, but sometimes that's not that easy to understand. Having a real crush and in love for the first time is a fairly straightforward way to find out if you love boys or girls. Of course, there are also people who fall in love with people of different sexes over the course of their lives. It is important to listen to yourself and to accept yourself.

13. What does coming out mean?

“To come out of the closet” is an English-American idiom and literally means “to come out of the closet”. The transferred meaning is “no longer to hide, but to be open about one's sexual identity”. A successful coming-out means accepting your own homosexuality.

A coming-out is often divided into two phases: on the one hand, the inner coming-out, i.e. becoming aware of and accepting it, on the other hand, the external coming-out, i.e. communicating with one's fellow human beings.

Ultimately, however, lesbians and gays come out all their lives. It remains a conscious decision to come out in contact with new people or to appear in public as a same-sex couple. Lesbians and gays do not want to and cannot come out always and everywhere. Some want to avoid curious inquiries, remain silent out of fear of negative reactions and discrimination or out of shame.

Incidentally, heterosexual people also come out, always and everywhere. Many are just not aware of this. You have a photo of your girlfriend oryour friend's on your desk or in your wallet, they tell you who you live with, who you went to the cinema or on vacation with. It goes without saying that heterosexual couples walk hand in hand through the pedestrian zone, kiss on the train, cuddle in the park. That is perfectly okay and just as common, natural and normal, lesbians and gays should be able to show their relationships and their love.

14. Homosexuality is unnatural!

The argument that homosexuality is unnatural is invalidated by nature itself: To date, same-sex couples have been discovered in around 1,500 animal species.

However, one should ask oneself whether one really only accepts what is “natural”. What about cars, cell phones, or clothes? After all, they don't grow in the meadow. Also, what about discrimination based on skin color or congenital disability.

Even if one wants to believe that there is a genetic-material basis for (sexual) behavior, and that it can even be proven, dealing with it always remains an object of social and ethical considerations. No ought follows from genetic being. The reference points of the justification for acceptance should be of a human rights nature, for example the right to sexual self-determination and the freedom to choose one's life and love partner. All people have the right to free development of their personality, self-determination and protection of their dignity, completely independent of the question of whether the (sexual) identity was chosen personally and freely or genetically shaped.

15. Homosexuality is a sin and against religion?

Even for religious people, with some thought, this statement can have no weight. Anyone who argues with the Bible, for example, would then have to consider numerous other proclamations from the Bible ("Do not eat shellfish", "Marry the widow of your dead brother", "Do not touch a woman who has her day") as sins and commandments that should be punished accordingly. Usually this is not seen so closely.

Religiously based sexual morals and policies are often directed not only against LGBTI * people, but also against the self-determination of women or heterosexual couples - for example, when the virginity of the woman is insisted on, sexuality before marriage or contraceptives are taboo, or sexual violence as a result The aim is to legitimize the fact that the often female victim was dressed too provocatively.

In the traditional interpretations of the Abrahamic religions (Judaism, Christianity and Islam), homosexuality is mostly seen as a sin. Nevertheless, there are also many people in all religions who see no contradiction between their belief and the acceptance of lesbians and gays. Many Protestant churches have said goodbye to the old sinful thinking and now recognize same-sex couples. The same applies to liberal Judaism and liberal currents in Islam.

There is a discussion in all religions as to whether certain scriptures and commandments refer to and condemn homosexual acts (or not), as well as various answers to them. There are many believers who demonize lesbians and gays and advocate punishment in the name of their religion. But there are also many believers who can very well reconcile their faith with the acceptance of diversity. Don't they believe right then? Aren't these real religious people? To judge that would be pretty presumptuous.

In all world religions - be it Christianity or Judaism, Islam or Hinduism - LGBTI * are now also organizing themselves in their own queer groups or associations. So homosexuality and belief are definitely compatible with one another. For example, Nushin Atmaca from the Liberal-Islamic Association declared: "We see the love that can develop between homosexual partners, just like the love between heterosexual partners, as a sign of God, as an expression of his love and mercy."

16. Homosexuality is something from the west. Is not available here.

Same and trans * gender ways of life existed and are everywhere: in the east and west, north and south, yesterday, today and tomorrow. This is emphasized by LGBTI people around the world. Existing terms in local languages ​​that refer to LGBTI * refer to the historical fact that LGBTI * "have always been part of African culture and will continue to be" - as human rights activist Gift Trapence from Ghana emphasizes. Apart from the fact that what is meant by being African is difficult or even impossible to define. Stéphane Koche from Cameroon says: “Many of our members do not know the western lifestyle at all and have nevertheless felt their homosexuality since childhood.” According to Arsham Parsi from the exile Iranian organization IRQR, homosexuality is not a western concept, but homophobia. "Anyone who deals with history can see that there are many references to homosexuality in Eastern cultures."1

In many countries, such as Saudi Arabia, Iran, Malaysia or Russia, India or Uganda, the public discourse about sexual orientations is seen as a provocation, as an expression of a supposedly depraved Western morality. For example, the former Indian health minister Ghulam Nabi Azad once described homosexuality as a “Western disease”, for Iran’s highest religious leader Ali Chamene'i it is the “worst form of moral degeneration” promoted by the West and Russia’s President Vladimir Putin calls for gays and lesbians in the country to clean". Against the background of such statements, the rejection or persecution of LGBTI * becomes the simplest strategy to distance oneself from the West and to propagate one's own moral superiority. The LGBTI activists who fight for their rights despite open persecution and violence deserve even more support.

In some countries such prejudices and criminal laws that still exist today were introduced by the colonial powers of the time. The fact that homosexuality is understood there today as “Western decadence” is rather part of the colonial legacy: remnants of Victorian, Christian prudishness.

But human rights do not know any direction. Sexual and reproductive rights are part of it: All states have signed corresponding international agreements. The acceptance of people is not a western, but a universal value. They apply to everyone - that is non-negotiable.

17. Homosexuality is pointless because lesbians and gays cannot have children.

Are childless heterosexual couples also pointless? Do heterosexuals only have sex because they want children? Then why is there contraception? Is procreation really the sole purpose of sexuality? According to the Federal Statistical Office, Germany had a birth rate of 1.50 children per woman in 2015. If sexuality were solely used for procreation, Germany's bedroom would have to be very sad.

Of course, sexuality is much more than procreation. Sexuality creates connections, creates closeness and familiarity. And don't forget, a lot of people enjoy sex. And that's just as well.

By the way: There are also lesbian and gay parents, and children grow up in so-called rainbow families. They come from previous heterosexual relationships, but increasingly, lesbians and gays are realizing their desire to have children through adoption, foster care or sperm donation.

18. A child needs a father and a mother!

For many decades, lesbians and gays in Germany and around the world have fought for their rights - this includes marriage for everyone and the right to adopt same-sex couples. Since the summer of 2017, this goal seems to be a big step closer: The Bundestag and Bundesrat have finally approved the “Law on the Introduction of the Right to Marriage for Persons of the Same Sex”, which opens marriage completely to lesbians and gays.

Up to now there was only the possibility of entering into a registered civil partnership (and that only since 2001): A clear distinction was made here not only through the name, which suggested that the love of same-sex couples was worth less than that of heterosexual couples .

In addition: Registered life partners are not allowed to adopt a child together. A popular "argument" against this right of adoption is that a child needs a father and mother to grow up well - what this prejudice means for single parents is deliberately ignored ... In addition, same-sex parents would endanger the child's welfare - this view is supported but not. Instead, passages from the Bible, a “diffuse gut feeling” or Sigmund Freud have to be used.

But is that true? This question has actually been the subject of various scientific studies around the world. For example, researchers at New York's Columbia Law School investigated whether children with gay or lesbian parents develop differently than children from heterosexual partnerships. Result of their meta-analysis: 72 studies showed that there is no difference. The conclusion of a Dutch study is similar, which revealed another detail: Much more important than the way of life of the parents is the social acceptance of the so-called “rainbow families” for the development of the children.

In other words, if children of same-sex couples are accepted and respected, there is nothing to worry about. But even without scientific support, it should be clear that children above all need love. Incidentally, the majority in Germany also see it that way. More than 75 percent think it's good that gay and lesbian couples, as well as heterosexual couples, are allowed to adopt children together.

For many people, marriage and family may be an essential part of our society - for them in particular it should be all the more welcome when LGBTI people can also live these models of life.

19. Who takes on the male and who the female part in a same-sex relationship?

The conviction that a “female” and a “male” role must be assigned in lesbian and gay relationships is a cliché based on heteronormative assumptions. This means that people are given traditional role models from hetero relationships instead of accepting that there are also relationships between two women and between two men.

For gay and lesbian couples, there is hardly any distribution of tasks based on traditional gender roles. This applies to everyday life, household and work. In many cases, the cliché of the traditional division of labor between men and women is no longer even true for heterosexual couples, is it?

20. Lesbians are not real women and gays are not real men!

Lesbians and gays are people - and people are diverse: They live diverse gender roles and gender identities. But these are not all facets that make us humans as individuals. The fact that you can recognize that orientation or identity at first glance is just as much a part of the realm of myths as the statement that there are no gay football players. Such claims reveal little about the various queer communities and much about their own outdated gender images.

And who actually determines what a real man or woman is? Does a certain length of hair make you feminine or do you make certain muscles masculine? The ideas that are floating around on this question have a lot to do with traditional gender roles, but little to do with reality. Often it is intended to legitimize that someone may or may not do something, why someone is denied equal rights.

Our ideas of gender, femininity and masculinity still have a lot of impact - also for dealing with lesbians and gays: the more they correspond to the ideas of femininity and masculinity that are considered correct, the more likely they are to remain unmolested in everyday life. Lesbians, gays and trans * who you can't tell by looking at it are more likely to be accepted.

If, for example, we think of prominent and openly lesbian women from television, then they are considered to be a prime example of supposed equality. But would they be so successful if their appearance did not correspond to the prevailing ideas of femininity or the “right woman”? The same is true of gay footballers. It is no coincidence that active professional footballers cannot and do not want to speak openly about being gay. Because a fan and football culture is deeply connected to clear ideas of masculinity that are incompatible with homosexuality.

Homosexual and trans hostility are also expressions of deeply patriarchal patterns that still dominate our bisexual world. But gender is not a great equalizer. If that were so, we would have just under 3.74 billion identical women and 3.81 billion identical men on the planet.

The other stereotypical clichés that LGBTI * people often have to grapple with are just as superfluous as they are nonsensical. And even if the clichés were true: There is no right to discrimination. For nothing and for no one.

21. How do lesbians / gays have sex?

There is practically nothing in gay or lesbian sex that does not take place among heterosexuals. Vaginal intercourse, oral intercourse, anal intercourse, in bed, in the kitchen, on the green meadow, with your mouth, with your tongue, with your fingers ...

Whatever. It is important to pay attention to each other, to talk about love, sex and also fears. It is essential that those involved give their consent. Nobody should be persuaded or even forced to do something he or she does not want. Then sexual self-determination ends and becomes violence.

22. Lesbians haven't found the right man yet and gays haven't found the right woman yet?

No. In the case of young people in particular, parents often hope that homosexuality is “just a phase” that will pass. In fact, homosexual behavior is more common among adolescents than other age groups. Some teens experiment by trying different types of relationships. It is also very possible to fall in love with people of different sexes at some point in life. But it is also a fact that homosexuality cannot be changed by a person of the opposite sex for young people and adults who are lesbian or gay. It is important to listen to yourself and to accept yourself.

23. You can't just invent genders.

When it comes to genders, there is nothing as persistent as the idea of ​​two clearly separated sides: man and woman, straight and homosexual, yin and yang - the list goes on and on. There is a multitude of genders. And gender identity doesn't say anything about sexual orientation.

As a rule, only the “man” or “woman” category is socially desirable and accepted: all people should assign themselves to one of these two categories. Those who cannot or do not want to do this are socially devalued. Regardless of the labels you come across here: There is always an image of the strong and the weak sex, which only together result in a functioning whole. That is why same-sex people have to be asked again and again the nonsensical question of who is actually a “man” and who is a “woman” in their relationship.

This compulsive duality not only causes a lot of suffering - it is also outdated. And not just since yesterday. In the 1920s one spoke - in certain subcultures - (unfortunately not in the mainstream), for example, of gender diversity. Under National Socialism, the assumption of a biological dichotomy was consolidated, which gained more and more assertiveness with the beginning of the Enlightenment. This is still the case with many today, although it is scientifically obsolete.

For example, gender is shaped by many factors, by chromosomes, hormones, genital organs and appearance, but also by upbringing, jurisprudence or one's own classification. There are different characteristics at each of these levels; the possible combinations are too diverse for the descriptions “male” or “female” to suffice. It is just as possible that people refuse to have an appropriate label stuck on them at all - why should that be a problem? And what about intersex people who can neither genetically, anatomically nor hormonally assign themselves to one or the other sex and sometimes do not want to?

The drawers in which gender identities and sexual orientations are supposed to be stuffed are out of date.They simply do not depict reality, in which there is a whole spectrum of different variants - cis, trans *, queer, straight, bi, pan or inter are just a selection of the various possibilities of categorization - which is not limited to people To be dull as "man" or "woman" and that's it. Much more important, however: everyone should be able to decide for themselves whether and which group I feel they belong to. Nobody has to come from the outside with a label adhesive.

24. Homosexuality did not exist in the past!

Same-sex love and desire existed always and everywhere! Homosexuality or heterosexuality are not just sexual habits or preferences, but feelings and sensations that are deeply rooted in the personality.

Some people think that homosexuality is part of Western culture. Homosexuality is widespread across the globe. In all cultures and epochs of world history there are people whose feelings and sexual desires are directed towards their own gender.

What differs is the possibility of how openly and safely one can and may live as a lesbian or gay. For a long time, sexual acts were punishable in Germany. In over 70 countries around the world, homosexuality is still banned and punished with imprisonment or even the death penalty.

25. Are there more and more lesbians and gays?

Some have the impression that the proportion of lesbians and gays in our society is constantly increasing. That's not true. But in a democratic society, where everyone has the basic right to free development of their personality and homosexuality is now less frowned upon than before, an open appearance for lesbians and gays is becoming more and more possible: in TV series, at work or when shopping.

What has changed is not the number, but the social status and thus the visibility. So there are more and more lesbians and gays who live openly and confidently.

26. Hate lesbian men !?

Do Straight Women Hate Other Women? Do you hate someone because you don't want to fall in love with them or want to have a relationship? Homosexuality means love for the same sex. There is no question of hatred. However, many lesbians have experienced uncomfortable turn-ons from men, advances, harassment or threats. Often under the pretext that lesbians just haven't met or met a “real” man. This is nonsense. Lesbians fall in love with women.

27. Gays are a danger to children !?

Children must be protected from sexual assault by adults. No ifs and buts. The majority of the victims of child abuse are girls and the perpetrators are men. It would not occur to anyone to put all heterosexuals under general suspicion for this reason.

Homosexuality and heterosexuality are different from pedophilia. The former are based on self-determination and consensus, the latter is a form of sexual violence and abuse. Gays are just as uninterested in children as heterosexual men. Pedophile offenders are concerned with the child-like nature of the victim, with gender often being of secondary importance.

For a long time, however, the legislature cultivated the prejudice of gays as seducers. Until 1994 there was Section 175 in the Criminal Code, which stipulated a much stricter “age of consent” for homosexual acts than for heterosexual encounters. After endless hearings with scientists, the German Bundestag came to the almost unanimous conviction that homosexuality in and of itself poses no danger to young people.

28. Do I have to like lesbians and gays now?

Behind the supposedly harmless question of whether one should now find “homos” good, there is often the idea that equality between lesbians and gays, which is self-evident, is a compulsory measure, dictated by alleged “do-gooders” who wanted to undermine the foundations of society. Sounds like rhetorical word monsters? But that's exactly what makes up the bullshit bingo that lesbians and gays have to listen to every day.

The fact is: Nobody has to find someone “good”, that's not the point. Rather, it's about the rights of lesbian, gay, bisexual, transgender and intersex people - without restriction, period. In a democratic society there must simply be no doubt that fundamental rights apply to everyone, regardless of their sexual orientation or gender identity.

Incidentally, this has nothing to do with excessive "Political Correctness" (PC) or "left opinion dictatorship", even if these are the buzz words that often fly around the ears in the discussion - by the way, by the way from figures from the extreme right-wing scene swinging the PC club is a popular strategy there to silence people with their experiences of discrimination.

However, it is by no means just right-wing extremists who believe that there is now a "gay lobby" that dictates the headlines. In fact, nowadays we talk more about the rights of LGBTI people, migrants and people of color, whose representatives have often fought for years to at least finally be heard and to claim for themselves the rights that have long been valid for others. And you can definitely find that good.

By the way: Those who complain that they are supposed to be forced to like lesbians and gays are usually the ones who want to keep devaluing them and find them bad. Ultimately, it shouldn't matter whether a person is lesbian or gay, it shouldn't be good or bad.

Some of the answers came about as part of the #Respektcheck project - a joint project by LSVD and the Amadeu Antonio Foundation against digital hatred. It was made possible by Volker Beck, who donated his prize money after receiving the Leo Baeck Prize.

Continue reading