Why is my marriage being delayed?

Save marriage? - 5 reasons

However, anyone who thinks about a breakup shows that they are unhappy with their life. But it doesn't necessarily have to be the fault of the marriage or the partner. Are there any professional problems? Are you dissatisfied with yourself? If you are thinking about a breakup, you should think twice about it beforehand. Because in the end, you end an otherwise good, healthy marriage from a momentary bad time. Fighting for a relationship is especially worthwhile when the Basics for the mutual relationship are still there. Think carefully about saving your marriage after all.

The love for the partner

If you still love your partner, you shouldn't split up prematurely. Love is the number one reason you should save your marriage. There are few reasons to break up when you are still in love. Because these feelings for one another are the most important Basis of a healthy, stable relationship.

Anyone who longs for a hug from their partner after a long day at work or looks for closeness and consolation after a quarrel with a friend is sure to have positive feelings for their partner. He knows you, he knows what consolation you need and what to say. That is worth a lot and hardly outweighed or replaced by someone else.

If this basis is still there, and if both sides are still in love, discussions can help to work through and resolve problems. If you are dissatisfied, you should discuss this with your partner. He should show understanding. This can concern, for example, the annual vacation together, which always goes to the same place. But it can also be about love life. Maybe a partner is missing something. Because dissatisfaction in bed can also bring dissatisfaction into the marriage.

If the two of you do not manage to get problems out of the way and remove dissatisfaction, couples therapy can also help to stabilize the relationship and save the marriage. A therapist can help address needs and how to meet each other's needs.

Expert tip:

Anyone who is on a business trip or visiting their girlfriend for a few days will quickly notice whether they miss their partner. If so, then that speaks for positive feelings, for love and longing.

Trust and support

Anyone who confides in their partner, tells them all the stories about the annoying work colleague or the stressful parents and problems, still trusts their partner. This shows that he continues to give support, that he is a Anchors in everyday life is. These are important foundations of a marriage. If these are still correct, it also means that there are still positive feelings for the partner. Trust, support and feelings for one another: Couples shouldn't end this lightly. Everything can be built on that. Even if there are problems and you are unhappy with each other. The partners know each other, their own desires, problems, longings. They trust in the skills, mutual advice and help. You should therefore think carefully: “Do I want to give this up?” As already described: If the basis is correct, discussions can help, if necessary with a couples therapist. You shouldn't be afraid to talk to your partner about your wishes and needs - with or without a therapist. Because if you trust yourself, you should be able to talk about everything. Regardless of whether there are special wishes regarding your love life or whether you feel neglected by your partner in the relationship.

Nobody is perfect

Every partner has some quirks and bad points. The question is: how well can you handle them? Are there quirks that you can tolerate or that you can lovingly accept? Or are they really annoying problems? If some quirks bother you in your partner, then you can address them. You can look for solutions together, maybe the partner also wants to try to remedy these quirks.

However, one should keep in mind: Nobody is perfect. Certainly there are also quirks in yourself that drive your partner crazy. But maybe he doesn't say it so as not to hurt anyone or he looks over it with love. Anyone who criticizes quirks in the partner must expect that they will also be shown negative sides and have to change. Because a relationship is always based on compromises. Perhaps this one quirk doesn't bother you so much and you accept it instead of constantly criticizing your partner for it.

But that does not mean that you should accept everything: If there are aspects of the partner that are absolutely annoying, then you can talk about it calmly. Because together you can work to turn this off. Quirks are not a reason to end a relationship. A lot can be fixed together. And some things can be learned to live with or to tolerate. There is, for example, the empty toilet roll that the partner never puts away and refills. Is that a reason for separation? Or do you just get used to it? Maybe you just clear away the empty role yourself. After all, you always leave your used socks on the bedroom floor and your partner silently clears them away, even though he doesn't like it.

Expert tip:

Make a list on which you write down for yourself what bothers you about the partner, which quirks you can overlook and which should definitely be addressed. Too much criticism is detrimental to a relationship, so you should think about and filter out which behaviors are the most disturbing.

Common past, common future

Anyone who has been together for a long time has experienced and endured a lot together: He has lost his job or she has helped him out of a tight spot with the back tax payments and worked a lot so that both of them can afford a house together despite the maintenance for the children and the ex-wife. He stood by her when her parents died. She was there for him when his best buddy had an accident. The first vacation together, the dog chosen together, the first child together. There are lots of good and bad memoriesthat shape a relationship. And they weld together. Those who have shared many formative moments move closer together, get to know and assess the other in crisis situations. You know what the other needs. These can be good reasons why you should save your marriage, even if it hasn't been going well for a while. We have already endured a lot together. You can get through a relationship crisis together if you pull together. With discussions and mutual support, you can overcome a crisis and start your future together.

Anyone who has had the same wishes and goals in life in the past will probably still have them in the future. If both sides are there for each other, talk to each other and share their lives, then they are alive with each other and not next to each other here. These are good prerequisites for living together in the future and not diverging. Because life plans and ideas don't suddenly change. And those who share their ideas with each other also change the ideas and wishes together or at least find compromises.

Common children

Anyone who has children together should not give up a marriage lightly for the sake of the children when the first clouds appear in the sky. It is always worth fighting for a relationship, especially when children are involved. You are the single biggest reason you should save your marriage. The most important prerequisite, however, is that there are still positive feelings for one another. Then children together can be a good motivator to discuss things together and to look for solutions to current relationship problems. It can also be helpful to spend time together without the children and to rediscover your own relationship. After all, you are not only a mother and father, but also lovers. One should come back to this level of relationship and not neglect it. Because besides all the love for the children there is also one Love between two peoplethat you shouldn't do without just because you now have children.