Why do people humiliate one another

Offenses and their consequences

Offense is something deeply individual. No two people are alike here. Everyone has different points in which they are more or less vulnerable, depending on the current situation. The more important the person in life is to us who offends us or the more positively he is seen in principle, the more serious the offense is. And the longer offenses last and the more often they are repeated, the more stressful they are. Of course, the type of offense is also decisive.

Whether we feel offended depends, among other things, on the following factors:

  • Mental and physical condition at the time of the offense
  • Current stressful and stressful situations
  • Previous life experiences
  • Trauma suffered (e.g. experiences of violence, birth defects)
  • Development deficits
  • Diseases
  • temperament
  • Level of self-confidence
  • Insecure ties
  • Internal attitude
  • External circumstances (e.g. in the immediate social environment and at work)

People with certain personality traits or disorders tend to be more offensive or offensive. Narcissists, for example, are very offensive, but also easily offended. Dissocial people are very offensive, but do not seem to be offensive. For more information on personality disorders, see Overview of Personality Disorders. In general, people who clearly show inconsiderate, tactless, aggressive and sadistic personality traits and can hardly feel compassion tend to offend others. Highly sensitive people rarely offend anyone, but they are very susceptible to illness. Whether you offend yourself or someone else or not and to what extent, however, never only depends on personality traits.

Protecting good bonds and self-confidence

Unsatisfied needs for appreciation / recognition and love play a major role in hurt. They oscillate back and forth between too little and too much. Not only withdrawal or refusal of love are particularly painful, but also the so-called lack of positive resonance. This means, for example, that someone feels love or gets involved, but does not experience any reciprocation or reaction.

For example, children need sufficient attention and empathy or compassion for a healthy development into self-confident people. But “overprotection” can also have negative consequences and lead to a lack of independence and a lack of tolerance for frustration. Young people and adults also need appreciation. So it is a basic human need.

A strong self-confidence, optimism and healthy pride also have a protective effect. A supportive social environment is also important. You can also strengthen your mental resilience. You can find out how under How to strengthen your psyche. You can find out how to overcome hurts and what you can do to make others less offensive under Anti-hurt tips.