Why do I feel bored?
"You there" - I find myself shockingly boring
Hello. Maybe we know each other. Have already stood together at a party, exchanged a few words, probably about the weather. I have something to say about that. Too warm for the season. Overall too dry. That's enough for my counterpart to sigh knowingly, not because of the weather, but because of me, and is relieved to find that the glass is empty: "I'll get something new for a moment, I'll be back in a moment."
I am shockingly boring
And then I stand around. Shift my weight from left to right, look around, know that no one will come back there, put me in groups that seem entertaining, try to join in on the content. Difficult. I never get in What are they talking about? About nutrition trends. (Hey, I always take 33, Thai curry with tofu!) About new travel destinations. (So I go to St. Peter-Ording every year!) I can't even contribute anything to hairstyles. (Except: cutting tips every six weeks.) I have to say that I find myself shockingly boring. That's why I prefer not to say anything in such situations, look into my glass in a playful astonishment, oops, already empty, and go for a quick replenishment.
Next to the refrigerator are two people, one of whom I know. First of all, he introduces himself to me: "Hello, I'm Matthias!" I already know that, because that's about the eighth time he's saying that to me because he just doesn't remember me. "We know each other," I replied at first. Oh. Yes. Right. "How's it going, what is the job doing?" Matthias pokes in the dark. I can't blame him, we'd probably only talked about the weather before his drink was empty. In the end I just introduced myself to him again and again and noticed that the doorbell rang very softly in the back of his head. Was there something? Well. No, I guess not.
Experience the world more attentively
My sister, who is a sensational figure and also a talented small talker, recommends that I internalize the places in which I feel comfortable. That's what I can best tell you about. I immediately think, oh god, from my sofa ?! I and the same pillows have been lying on it for years! And to report on the books that I read there, whose titles and authors, when it comes down to it, I cannot reproduce, whose actions I confuse - that does not lead to anything. Maybe people are with me as I am with my books. I want to be more attentive. Also towards people.
Sometimes I practice conversational culture with people who have to listen to me, who are not allowed to get a drink while I'm there: salespeople. "Is it also available in a different size?", "I'll give it to myself for my birthday", "So practical when traveling", "Do you have something like this at home?", "What would you combine it with?" ... What an interested person I am - but not a person of interest! And what a chat bag! All the salespeople play my game, so I babble my way to the checkout and proudly wear a new dark blue blouson home, where I notice that I already have two very similar ones.
In fact, a friend of mine once said, when we were sitting outside on the bench in front of the Asian diner, how wonderful it would be that we were still together as we were 30 years ago, still negotiating the same issues, "and that's not actually your jacket from back then ?! " I looked up annoyed and said: "Oh, look, it's raining back there." And then ordered 33.
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