Make INFJ's longing for physical sexual contact
ESD in middle school age (11-16 years)
16 personality profiles
16 types of children
Elementary school age
Middle school age
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How Sedmikraska blossomed
Middle school age (11-16 years)
|ESD - extraverted sensory orientation with auxiliary function thinking - (actionist) |
Extraverted sensation with auxiliary function thinking
E.SD have a large circle of friends and thrive when they can attend social events, whether public or private. When dealing with people, ESD are problem-free and always ready to accept others for who they are. Being with an ESD is always stimulating and fun. That is why ESD are usually very popular and welcome in every society. Social events are so important to these party-hungry young people that they often don't have the time to attend school without a break.
ITAs a rule, D are very receptive to the diverse impressions that await them and eager to use and savor as many experiences as possible. In the course of all the tingling and adventurous experiences in which your energy can let off steam, you often get into risky and dangerous situations and perhaps also into delicate relationship situations through erotic adventures. Young people with ESD usually start driving very early, because it makes a primal experience of freedom, the excitement of speed and also the thrill of adventure generally accessible. Risky sports, often with challenging competition, arouse their thirst for adventure.
ITIn their sense-oriented attitude, D are often so fixated on external impressions and appearances that they consider the obvious as the absolute reality and do not try to look behind the surface. That doesn't exactly promote their knowledge of human nature. This also means that they are often too impressed by superficial values such as a lot of money, fashionable looks, swanky cars and other status symbols. Perhaps her strong appetite for adventure sometimes tempts her to experiment with early sex, alcohol, or drugs.
ITHowever, D often compensate for this low trust in intuition with a very fine sense of the nuances and the current status of their sensory perceptions. As a result, they can react very flexibly, with presence of mind and situation-related and use the strategic advantages of the moment with an accurate instinct. This practical intelligence often gives them greater and faster successes in life than the lengthy analytical-logical use of their thinking skills.
ESD adolescents often feel this instinctively given strength during their high school days. They do not appreciate the theoretical and analytical focus of the curriculum, do not enjoy abstract and systematic learning and seek to achieve the necessary school success with minimal effort. On the other hand, they seek to train a wide range of practical skills and to refine their social security and agility. They do not see their life chances in a scientific or academic career, but prepare themselves to find success, satisfaction and fulfillment in the most diverse practical areas of life. But that won't come until later. Now they want to enjoy life to the fullest.
Parents often worry about their ESD child's lack of learning energy and initiative. Perhaps the pupil himself sometimes turns into a faint-hearted disaffection when failures at school pile up. In this situation, admonitions are not the first or best choice. It is more helpful to remind the ESD child that there are many varieties of intelligence and success and that they can trust to find constructive and useful areas of activity in which their great energy and open-mindedness can prove themselves.
ITD live primarily in the here and now and want to enjoy the moment (eS). They like to postpone boring material tasks and often miss important appointments. However, this can lead to enormous stressful situations. In such situations, the great strength of ESD becomes apparent, which, especially in the stress of the last minute, often shows enormous energy and performance and is also successful.
ESD know that only after high school do they have the real chance to lead their own life and get as much fun out of life as possible. But they also know that such a life costs a lot of money. As they are already at school, they are determined to achieve the greatest possible success with the least amount of effort later in their job. If you come to the conclusion that you can find better-paying jobs with a university degree, then for the sake of this tangible result you will also accept the theoretical effort of studying.
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|IDS - introverted thought orientation with auxiliary function sensory perception - (actionist) |
Introverted thinking with auxiliary function sensation
IDS orientate themselves primarily with the help of thinking. Only that which withstands logical and objective criteria is taken into account and recognized (D). Nevertheless, their preference is not for the predominantly abstract and theoretical requirements of the school, but for practical and sporting activities, mostly outside the curriculum (S as a secondary function). Most of all, you want to prove yourself as individuals in activities that require great skill and precision. In sport, too, they do not primarily prefer team performance, but rather individual sports such as climbing, skiing or tennis. You love action and like to take physical risks. They see themselves as quick-reacting people and trust that they can handle virtually any situation. This attitude is sometimes reinforced by the fact that they identify with a public star and his heroic image.
IDIn their engagement, S do not like to follow external guidelines, but rather according to their own internal standards. This results in a tendency to only do the bare minimum for many tasks. Sometimes parents conclude that attending private school, perhaps even boarding school, could help their IDS child focus and study with determination. It can also have a positive effect when IDS feel that the parents have trust, because IDS usually do not want to disappoint the trust that has been placed in them.
IDS. During puberty they sometimes experience phases of boredom in which they are increasingly on the lookout for interesting and exciting experiences. They may also begin to stroll around, skip school, and fail to meet commitments. Drugs, too, could, at least temporarily, become tempting and cause trouble. It is often difficult for parents to support their child during this confusing time because IDS teenagers tend not to express their concern directly, but rather as anger.
I.D.As thinking types, S often see themselves confronted with the problem that their logic does not work when assessing and shaping relationships, because relationships are primarily determined by feelings. But the function of feeling is mostly neglected in thinking types. They are often frustrated when they cannot logically understand what went wrong. So most IDS need help to improve their interpersonal skills. However, especially during puberty, they are rather distant and difficult to access. It can be helpful if parents don't push for a conversation, but just be there and create an atmosphere of trust and connectedness so that the child can simply start talking when they happen to be ready.
Confidential contact with male I.D.Making S teenagers can be difficult at times because they are often quite aloof and don't accept touch other than an occasional back stroke. As a result, parents often fail to realize that IDS teenagers tend to have great affection for them.
For female I.D.These years can be especially difficult. Traditionally, girls are expected to be undemanding and caring. But the thinking preference of IDS girls can sometimes lead them to inadvertently hurt the feelings of others through their direct, open language or to react impatiently to very emotional behavior.
IDS. do not want to be restricted by structures or schedules in order to be able to react flexibly to interesting possibilities. As a result, they often cannot complete tasks on time and have to accept disadvantages. Engaging in satisfying activities is often more important to them than pursuing promising career opportunities.
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|ESF - extraverted sensory orientation with auxiliary function feeling - (actionist) |
Extraverted sensation with the auxiliary function of feeling
ITF have a large circle of friends and are very popular. Her senses and thinking take place mainly in communication with her many friends and acquaintances, often in the form of long telephone calls. Social activities are usually more important to them than family life. When they come home from one social event, they often prepare for the next one. They are very helpful and if friends have problems, ESF are immediately on hand to help. They can take advantage of this in such a way that they neglect, postpone or completely forget about school or other obligations.
ITF are increasingly confronted with theoretical questions in middle school. They should interpret texts, describe them in summary, grasp the underlying meaning and come to conclusions. The strengths of the ESF lie elsewhere, however. They grasp the sensory impressions as they are presented, perceive details and faithfully keep them in mind, literally take what they perceive and proceed consistently step by step. You have amazing memories, especially for facts and events that affect people. That is why for ESF the lessons become more difficult and frustrating with each school year, the complex and abstract material seems more and more useless. It is therefore no wonder that ESF are reluctant to attend higher schools. It is important not to push them in that direction.
ITF, on the other hand, get on well with objects and learning content that are practically applicable and really useful, especially in the human area (F). They can also successfully train their ability to draw conclusions and interpretations by showing them the steps involved in arriving at an answer and associating the deeper meaning with clear details. Over time, ESF develop the ability to depict human traits and peculiarities in a vivid and realistic way.
The impulsive and sensual ones ITF usually have problems dealing with money at an early age. There are so many beautiful and fun things to buy that it is difficult for them to save on one goal. The main thing for ESF is to be happy about the moment. It would be nice to save for the future, but it doesn't really work. Sometimes young ESFs try to do housework and small jobs to earn money for a special request. But the money earned is quickly gone and there is often too little time for obligations. But there is a chance: if the mother collects the small income, perhaps the sum for the longed-for mountain bike will come together.
ITF feel at home in society and react spontaneously and impulsively to the immediate impression when dealing with other people (IT). That is why they are often impressed by external status symbols such as good looks, brisk demeanor and generous use of money. Perhaps they also experiment with sensual pleasures, sex, or drugs at times quite carelessly. However, the more its secondary function, the feeling, develops (iF), the more important it becomes to have deeper and sincere relationships with loyal friends who prove to be sincere and caring. In the course of this development, ESFs can be more and more sensitive to the feelings of others, but also become more vulnerable themselves.
Despite the increasing depth of experience are subject to ITF still very strongly the behavior pattern "act spontaneously and only then think" (ES). As a result, they can get into problematic situations if they fail to activate their tertiary function, thinking. They often demand fairness, but they are seldom objective. They react primarily emotionally and often consider themselves justified and objectively justified reproaches or reprimands to be mean. So the first thing to do is to build emotional security and trust by offering them emotional acceptance and physical closeness, even if they have misbehaved. Only when it has been possible to create a safe, non-judgmental atmosphere can cautiously begin to speak about behavioral variants in certain situations, even in possible ones, in order to pave the way for more level-headed reactions.
If itF. Too often fail because of careless behavior, they can temporarily become discouraged and despondent. Then it also becomes apparent that the chance that they will learn from setbacks is not very great for the ESF. We can help them best if we give them plenty of opportunity to develop as many skills and abilities as possible in practical life and in dealing with people. As a result, even after setbacks, they can always achieve concrete performance and have a sense of achievement. Above all, however, they need the certainty that the parents are really on their side, believe in them and are always ready to help them if necessary.
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|IFS - introverted emotional orientation with auxiliary function sensory perception - (actionist) |
Introverted feeling with auxiliary function sensation
IFS have a strong need for an internally harmonized emotional life that is not influenced or disturbed from the outside. They therefore maintain an intimate relationship with a few people whom they trust - especially parents and siblings. You are gentle, empathetic, understanding and helpful and make it easy for your loved ones to stay balanced and connected. They appreciate this familiar, familiar protection zone.
With entry into high school or another middle school, the relationship area expands to a larger group that has different and sometimes challenging expectations and also brings with it less emotional contacts.Trusting loyalty is no longer as natural in the larger and heterogeneous group of classmates as it is in the few friends in childhood. This is worrying for IFS. Ambivalence arises. On the one hand, young people want to hold back unpleasant and fearful feelings and spend even more time alone, on the other hand, the need to communicate their worries grows. Now an understanding, accepting mother who respects the emotional closeness of her child is worth gold, waits for the child to speak on its own, then listens patiently, asks gently, and finally says how well she understands that such feelings are painful and difficult.
IFS still have the desire to maintain cordial or at least friendly relationships and to be popular. This often requires adjustments, combined with the temptation to be unfaithful to personal standards in order to be accepted. In order to protect their sensitive, inward-looking emotional intensity in an often quite insensitive environment and not to risk injuries or humiliations, the adjustment in the group can sometimes go too far and turn the IFS youngsters into followers. If you then succeed in deciding not to allow yourself to be put under pressure and not to do things that you basically do not think are right, then a decisive step has been taken towards greater independence and assertiveness.
There at IFS the feelings are mainly effective in the inner life (iF) and in relation to the outside world there is a certain dependence on the momentary impressions (eS), IFS can sometimes be overwhelmed by insecurity and weakened or even paralyzed in their resolve. They then have no confidence to set something in motion and postpone decisions - especially if they involve far-reaching consequences - in order to keep various options open. This can have an inhibiting effect on the choice of training and career path, all the more so since IFS are too focused on the many details due to their extraverted sensory orientation (eS) and find it difficult to grasp the big picture. At this stage, the guidance of a sensitive advisor can prove to be a blessing.
IFS need a lot of personal freedom and time for themselves at any age in order to maintain the inner harmony of feelings (iF). On the other hand, due to their impulsive responsiveness to sensory impressions (eS), they can easily be tempted to violate rules, ignore boundaries or miss appointments. This can cause trouble with parents, who feel responsible for maintaining some order and discipline. IFS also often cannot cope with the division of their pocket money. Sometimes immediate consequences cannot be avoided, for example the handing over of pocket money in short-term installments.
IFS often have little confidence in logic in their emotional preference. This can lead to conflicts when parents - e.g. thought-oriented fathers or mothers - try to comply with rules with logical arguments. For emotional people this has little persuasive power, on the contrary, they often interpret it as a lack of love. It is better, therefore, to be calm and matter-of-fact, but rely more on emotional, human impact than on logic. Even if there are consequences to be drawn, parents should avoid any hint of anger or scolding because IFS are very easily embarrassed and depressed. Parents should speak to their child gently and lovingly in any situation, telling them that they love them, even if they cannot approve of what they have done.
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|EDS - extraverted thought orientation with auxiliary function sensory perception - (traditionalist)|
Extraverted thinking with auxiliary function sensation
E.DS are still very sociable and also appreciate the sociable contact that is associated with participating in team sports or with involvement in clubs, in student self-government, at theater performances, in youth groups or in church or political community work. You like to take on leadership roles in such engagements.
E.DS feel at home on stage and in the spotlight because of their performance. The community in the ensemble accommodates their sociability. Her willingness to work hard and her excellent memory are good prerequisites for success.
EDS. are extremely pragmatic and also find economic success extremely important. You have a good feel for business and economy and often start lifelong careers in business and administration with part-time jobs during your studies. They are good with money personally, too, and appreciate making and saving money to have it available for purposes of lasting value. They are concerned about security and rarely take unnecessary risks.
E.D.S are very conscientious, conscientious and reliable. You are ambitious and want to prove your ability through exceptional performance. With their energy and drive, they use every opportunity to take on management responsibility in their diverse activities and commitments.
Some EDS sometimes become overly active, restless and even rebellious in their striving for independence and self-determination. Occasionally, a certain moodiness can occur, but usually only in the family area. Such restless episodes are, in most cases, developmental and are soon overcome by EDS. Because EDS are by type responsible and reliable keepers and promoters of existing values and institutions.
The young EDS should not be pressured during these troubled periods, as this would only make it more difficult for them to get over the crisis. They are used to defending their positions and asserting themselves, so it would be more of a useless power struggle that would only make it harder for them to get back on track. Since they want stable and sustainable relationships, they will soon find their way back to their usual energetic commitment.
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|ISD - introverted sensory orientation with auxiliary function thinking - (traditionalist) |
Introverted sensation with auxiliary thinking
I.SD need personal space and a lot of time to reflect and maintain their independence. They prefer to communicate in writing rather than verbally and want to prepare before acting or commenting. At school, too, they prefer written projects to presentations or discussions.
Basically, not much changes in this introverted outlook on life even in the middle school years. The young I.SD still like to spend a lot of time alone or as a couple in private conversations. They are still very selective in their choice of friends and most of the time they still have the best friend from elementary school. But now they are starting to get more and more involved in group activities and fit in with the community. They have an increased need to belong and are ready to conform to the norms of their group. In the meantime you have made the experience that it is worthwhile to be more sensitive and tactful with others.
ISD are now beginning, like almost all contemporaries, to detach themselves from their parents' home with the help of rebellion and rejection, but are and remain traditional and conservative (iS) and are loyal to their reference groups, from large ideological groups to families. They tend to have firmly established beliefs and principles, are skeptical of new ideas, and tend to think in black and white, determined by either-or rather than both-and. However, in this period of puberty and in the search for a basic orientation, they often worry about the often contradicting and confusing diversity of group mentalities and group styles in their immediate and wider environment.
ISD. are disciplined and prudent, set their own behavior up to high standards and disapprove of irresponsible behavior on the part of others. They are usually very organized, meticulous, and efficient (eD). You value order and cleanliness, you often tidy up on your own initiative and you can also decide to throw away what is obsolete and superfluous.
ISD are usually very conscientious, want to complete school quickly and successfully and often strive for a predictable and continuous career. They also handle their money conservatively and conscientiously and try to earn money in sideline activities in order to be able to buy things of good and lasting quality.
ISD. want things to be decided (eD) and are often so impatient to make decisions that they fail to gather enough information. Nevertheless, they usually stick to their decisions consistently and also ask others to adhere to them. You can get very angry when someone, after making a decision, collects more information and brings new opportunities into play. It can happen, for example, that ISD decide in the first years of high school for a certain course of study or a certain profession and no longer consider any further options.
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|EFS - extraverted feeling orientation with auxiliary function sensory perception - (traditionalist) |
Extraverted feeling with auxiliary function sensation
EFS maintain cordial contacts with many people and have an excellent emotional report with their surroundings. They are cheerful and charming, loved by everyone and very involved in all areas of life - school, hobbies, and auxiliary services. Their engagements and social activities can become so varied that they are confronted with competing loyalties and sometimes do not know where to get involved first. Since they place high demands on themselves and find it difficult to bear the feeling of failure or defeat, a certain selection and concentration of their activities is important.
EFS strive so strongly for emotional integration in their environment that they pay careful attention to what other people think of them. Attuning to the opinions of others and to what is fashionable and cool could be quite stressful if you fail to pay less attention to their external image and listen more to their inner voice.
These happy young people, who are so wonderfully amused, often feel challenged to do everything perfectly and often to do more than is required in order to be recognized and liked and to have the feeling of belonging. As a result, they can get into competitive situations that are emotionally very stressful for EFS in particular.
EFS value an orderly and predictable environment in which everything runs smoothly and without disruption (eF). They therefore often develop a highly developed talent for organization, use planning and time management and are also happy to take on responsibility for projects that need to be arranged for groups, such as class trips or school balls. With their enthusiasm they motivate others to cooperate and in their practice-related way (S) they plan the process very specifically and in individual steps. They will benefit from this experience in future charitable activities.
EFS are very helpful and empathetic, careful not to offend or offend others. If their feelings are hurt themselves, it can often have a long lasting effect. In adolescence in particular, it is often difficult for them to maintain friendship with someone who has wronged them.
Even EFS are not spared the turbulence of adolescence. This can also lead to phases of rebellion. The otherwise polite and tactful EFS can at times become impolite, cheeky or insulting in the generally healthy endeavor to tear themselves away. They can also slide into self-endangering behavior. However, EFS are so tradition-conscious (iS) that they usually overcome such episodes quickly, especially if they are encouraged by understanding parents to form their own opinions and convictions and to become independent people.
EFS. usually make useful and practical decisions (S). They are also used to making quick decisions (eF). Therefore, it can be very useful for young EFS when they are encouraged to look beyond the immediate appearance of reality and to take their time long enough when making sustainable decisions, for example in choosing a course of study and career or in personal bonds with lifelong commitments.
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|ISF - Introverted sensory orientation with auxiliary function of feeling - (Traditionalist) |
Introverted sensation with the auxiliary function of feeling
I.SF are rather reserved and not very talkative. You like to spend time alone or with one of the few carefully selected friends. They gladly accept invitations, but seldom seek conviviality on their own initiative. They make little phone calls, usually only call for special occasions, but are patient listeners when they are called. ISF. are loving and helpful and long for intimate and lasting relationships with a few people who are dear to them and important to them.
ISF value and cultivate traditions because they gain security and continuity from them (iS). During puberty, they begin to question conventional behaviors and to rebel against it. This is an important step towards more independent thinking and decision-making. It is not a fundamental rebellion against the establishment, however, and sooner or later the young ISF will return to a more traditional lifestyle. It is important that the parents recognize the personal benefit of this episode for the inner balance of the young person and do not make a big fuss.
ISF develop from traditional ideas and personal insights a stable worldview of traditional character against which they measure new information before they take it over (iS). From this grows their tendency to be hesitant to take up new ideas. As young people they have already gained more experience and trust more and more in what they have personally recognized to be true. This also increases their confidence that they are making the right decisions.
The increased self-confidence gives the young ISF. enough support to pay more attention to the opinions of others. Out of a strong need to be accepted and to feel a part of, they sometimes do something that they ordinarily would not do of their own accord, in order to be more readily accepted into a group. They are used to grooming themselves and wearing nice but more conventional clothes. But now they are more willing to adapt to the style of their reference group, but only moderately and never fancy.
On the basis of their firmly established convictions (iS) and their striving to design their external environment sensibly and harmoniously (eF), ISFs develop a heightened sense of responsibility. They work diligently at school, willingly do their homework and help extensively with household chores. ISF are aware of their responsible reliability and appreciate what they do and what they contribute.
I.SF are usually disciplined and well organized (eF). They design their surroundings with a lot of love and care and prefer it when everything is clean, tidy and in its place. They handle their belongings very carefully, but resist the temptation to store everything without distinction. They carefully consider what to keep and what to throw away.ISF also value punctuality and if they sometimes forget or overlook something, it is usually only because they were so intensely absorbed in an activity and have lost track of time.
I.S.F are basically helpful and selfless, economical and frugal. At this age, however, they also develop an interest in making money and saving for a purpose. For example, you are looking for odd jobs in the neighborhood so that you can use the money you save to fulfill special requests. In doing so, they rarely allow themselves to be carried away into rash impulse purchases, but mostly opt for high-quality items that can be used over the long term, for example electronic devices or a mountain bike.
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|EFN - extraverted feeling orientation with auxiliary function intuition - (idealist) |
Extraverted feeling with the auxiliary function intuition
E.FN are friendly and popular, continue to lead very active social lives, and are often admired by their peers. They are still dedicated to a wide range of activities in the class community and in student administration, in theater performances and in team sports. Even at this age they prove themselves to be successful mediators in disputes between friends and often have long conversations with friends - in person and on the phone - to help them solve problems.
EFN due to their auxiliary function, intuition (N), find pleasure in secondary school studies, because they are less dependent on memorization, especially in high school, and can arrive at deeper interpretations with the help of their pronounced imagination. EFNs often develop a preference for the humanities, literature, foreign languages or social sciences.
Even EFN-Teenagers temporarily lose their inner balance in the course of the natural process of detachment from their families. Due to their rather introverted secondary function, intuition (iN), they often go through a phase of intense inner fantasy with daydreams and exciting imaginary scenarios in the search for their own identity. These otherwise so active and hardworking young people often spend a long time apparently doing nothing, neglecting schoolwork and housework, but in reality are on an intensive inner search for meaning.
Some EFN entrust themselves to a diary in times of particularly active imagination. In this time of upheaval and inner clarification, the otherwise communicative EFN do not like to talk about what is going on within them. A diary replaces a discreet and non-judgmental listener.
For EFN, this maturation process is primarily about finding their independence and being themselves. E.F.N have been in need of harmony since early childhood and want to please and be accepted. They have always been dear children who happily and happily respond to the wishes and demands of others, so that this behavior was ultimately taken for granted by people. For the EFN children, too, this behavior has become so natural that they are tempted to see it as the true source of their self-worth.
A decisive step in development should now take place during puberty. So far, EFN has found it difficult to stand through disagreements or do or say anything that might arouse displeasure in others. Now it is more and more important to develop your own convictions and principles and to express your opinions openly and honestly. The young EFN should feel entitled to enforce what they think is best, without paying attention to the impression that makes on others. So you can develop your true self more and more. For EFN it can be of great help on the way to an independent personality if there is a positive and non-judgmental atmosphere in the parents' home in which their opinions and decisions are respected.
In a parental home like this, the good-natured and amiable EFN children are not expected to be in a good mood so often. EFN study hard on their own anyway and are often already preparing hard for admission to a university. In their eagerness to plan ahead (eF), they may make premature decisions and commit themselves to a particular path before they have fully considered all of the options. These conformist EFN youths are often all too inclined to conform to the expectations of others. With their realistic view, however, they will increasingly recognize the conditions for a sensible and harmonious living environment and be able to make the right decisions (eF).
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|INF - introverted intuition orientation with auxiliary function feeling - (idealist) |
Introverted intuition with the auxiliary function of feeling
I.NF have a strong need to be alone from their basic disposition in order to come to terms with their inner wealth of feelings, thoughts and imagination. During puberty, which is also a turbulent inner process of clarification and orientation for INF, this need becomes even more urgent, because they are now also faced with the task of dealing intensively with the fast-moving outside world and its practical requirements. They have always been confronted with the problem that their strong inwardness is misunderstood as self-self-consciousness, but in this development phase they are actually primarily concerned with themselves. They become even more incomprehensible for many people, especially for extraverted people, and often develop a kind of self-protection an attitude of bored superiority or critical sarcasm. The once so complacent and docile children can now be disgruntled, intolerant and snippy. That is why they will now face increased criticism and impatience.
I.NF, who otherwise enjoy solitude, now feel left alone. They need support, but not in such a way that parents or other adults make an effort to talk to them. They need the certainty that their parents honestly accept, understand and respect their individuality. This can create an atmosphere of trust in which INF can open up on their own in a casual, quiet get-together and communicate what is going on within them. When they feel that their quirks and current restlessness are perceived as completely normal, they can build a sound sense of confidence and self-respect.
I.NF As idealists (NF) according to David Keirsey - they often think more about their choice of profession than young people of other types because they don't want to have any job, but are inspired by the strong desire to find meaningfulness and harmony in their job. You want to do something creative and meaningful and find it difficult to imagine working in a traditional or business environment. You want to develop into personalities of integrity with a high ethical standard.
INF teenagers naturally also talk about their ideals and job ideas, but rarely encounter understanding. Especially those of the same age with a practical, sensory attitude will consider such career aspirations to be hyped or arrogant and will react with ridicule or teasing. It is worth gold when the young INF idealists find support from their families and especially from their parents. Often parents first have to overcome the worry that their child could lose their feet and have a hard time in the tough everyday life. But it would be pointless to express such concerns or even to combine them with admonitions. When the INF teenagers feel that their parents understand, accept and appreciate their attitudes, they can express themselves with confidence. In this way, the young INF can clarify their future dreams and bring them into a feasible form. A diary might also help them with this.
I.NF often boost their self-confidence by participating in creative activities. For example, they sometimes like to appear in a school theater or in a theater group in their community or to work behind the scenes. However, the prerequisite is that they can prepare well, because they do not like to be the center of attention and feel insecure when they are supposed to improvise or speak offhand. If they have enough time to organize their thoughts and appearances, they can also get involved in lectures, poetry readings or acting. However, as soon as they get into a competitive situation, they lose the joy of such activities.
INF want to be free inside for their deep feelings and vivid fantasies (IN) and at the same time experience a strong discomfort with the outside world, which threatens to disrupt their inner harmony with all kinds of demands, impositions and often attacks. It is therefore a matter of great concern to them, consciously or unconsciously, to make their external environment as constant, predictable and free of disruption as possible. They succeed in doing this relatively easily through their rational auxiliary function, the extraverted feeling (eF), from which they want to ensure a harmonious, well-structured and well-planned living space and daily routine. For this purpose, they can also put up with some routines. They especially appreciate it when they can confide in a very close and trustworthy friend who is also a reliable aid to them in the teasing and tormenting to which they are sometimes exposed.
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|ENF - extraverted intuition orientation with auxiliary function feeling - (idealist) |
Extraverted intuition with the auxiliary function of feeling
E.NF are very sociable and have a large and diverse circle of friends. They are loyal friends who are always ready to provide advice and assistance to others. You spend a lot of time talking and on the phone helping friends deal with problems. ENF are very popular with children and adults from a young age.
ENF. are helpful and deeply concerned when they find someone is feeling bad. They are committed to the well-being of others, both face-to-face and broadly, such as activists and passionate spokesmen for matters that matter to them. You also work tirelessly in teams, for example to support petitions or raise donations.
E.NF often work enthusiastically and intensively to develop their talents and diverse interests in the field of music and visual arts, theater and other arts, but also team sports. Here, too, the community is very important to them and in search of the right affiliation they often switch back and forth between groups. With all these social, sporting and artistic activities, it is difficult for them to set priorities and they run the risk of overwhelming themselves. Often they don't have enough time to do their homework.
ENF. have a rich and often varied emotional life, which in these extraverted, expressive adolescents usually has a direct impact on their behavior. This can result in sudden mood swings, sometimes in connection with their successes or failures at school or with their relationships with their friends. ENF. for the sake of harmony often adapt their mood to the person or group with whom they are currently in contact.
During puberty, ENFs often behave shockingly or dress unconventionally in order to achieve an exciting reaction or to experience themselves as different and unique. But that soon comes up again, especially if you treat them like adults and respect or at least tolerate their views. You are now in the phase of life in which you want to understand yourself and the meaning of your life and want to find out what makes you special.
ENF. Due to their pronounced value system, they usually make good decisions at a high level. Because they tend to be pleasing to others or to be impressed by what others like, they sometimes overlook when a decision is problematic or difficult.
E.NF are so intuitive and imaginative that they usually have a wide range of possibilities and variants in mind. This can arouse an excess of desires, most of which, of course, cannot be fulfilled. As a result, the necessary restrictions often generate severe frustration and fear, and the young ENF seem almost unable to accept that they are not getting what they want. The parents are then often faced with the task of carefully justifying necessary refusals, and ENF can usually be won over with well thought-out arguments. In any case, it is best to limit an absolute NO to such requests in really important cases.
Since it is for ENF it is so difficult, especially at this age, to eliminate options in the decision-making process (eN), if you can talk to someone about the options and their consequences, you can save yourself a lot of anxiety. But that is not so easy at all, because the young people do not want to be instructed or to do planning for them. It is best to just listen to them, reflect their problems and feelings in an accepting way, perhaps in other words, and take brief notes on the pros and cons. Since nothing is criticized or rejected, the ENF teenagers can bring anything up and then even have a plus-minus list available that they may go through again later. The young ENF can feel that they are receiving support and still make decisions on their own.
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|IFN - introverted feeling orientation with auxiliary function intuition - (idealist) |
Introverted feeling with the auxiliary function intuition
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